Setting Parameters

Do you set parameters for the children with whom you come in contact?

When I assess or counsel children, I know immediately through their body language and expression if they have come from a family that provided fair, consistent and respectful guidance. I am often shocked that parents do not recognize the value of setting limits and boundaries for themselves let alone their children.

It is impossible to teach children to respect civil law if they have not experienced it in their home environment. Drunk driving, sexual abuse, statutory rape and drug abuse are only some of the manifestations of not setting boundaries for children early in life.

Teens respond favorably and are more motivated when they understand the moral implications, legal and social consequences of their actions.

Zari Alipour, Ph.D.
Making Wise Choices in a Disruptive Age
www.DrZari.com
Zari@DrZari.com
310-574-3832

Bath Salt

Bath Salt is another designer recreational drug widely available on the internet, in convenience stores and gas stations. It is not easy to identify toxicity which is the key to survival and the reduction of mortality.

Persons intoxicated by Bath Salt may feel like superhuman but intoxication causes psychosis which can cause a person to eat the flesh of another person. This product have no legitimate use for bathing. It contains other stimulants such as MDVP, PCC and or 4-methylmethcathinone.
Bath salt is not listed as a state and federal controlled substance. There is a high reported risk of toxicity and mortality from being high on the drug.
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Are you giving children and teens the gift of time?

Are you giving children and teens the gift of time?

I most often deal with children and teens who are in trouble. The damage is already done. That bridge has been crossed. We therapists, teachers and counselors do what we can to treat the child, but it saddens me that so much of what could have been done to prevent the trouble was not done.

Childhoods are over before we know it and too soon for all the life lessons they are about to face. Those of us who are fortunate enough to have family elders know the value and gift of time that only the elders experience with our children.
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Teaching and modeling Honesty and responsibility

What are you doing today that encourages children and teens to be honest, keep promises made, share ideas and dreams, have respect for themselves and others and resolve conflict in a mature fashion?

It’s very easy to pass the buck and not take the time to have honest communication with kids. It’s much easier to teach only what’s in the text, let them watch television for hours each day or sit in front of their computers.

Everything and anything you can do to encourage an actual extended conversation with a child will make a difference in their lives and in their ability to think indiscriminately and make wise choices.

Zari Alipour, Ph.D.
Making Wise Choices in a Disruptive Age
www.DrZari.com
Zari@DrZari.com
310-574-3832

Constructive communication

Paramount to opening up the communication with a child is your ability to hear about their emotional pain.

Most of the time, heartbreak in a teenager’s life seems pretty trite to us. But it’s the red flag to which you should pay careful attention. When the painful times come, it’s an open door for you to build trust and respect with a teen. You may only get to listen without commenting but if you stick with it without a punitive attitude, you will eventually create a dialogue that may even lead to a turning point in an unhealthy decision based on his/her humiliation, fear, loss or embarrassment.

It all begins with your willingness to be there and listen.

Zari Alipour, Ph.D.
Making Wise Choices in a Disruptive Age
www.DrZari.com
Zari@DrZari.com

Subconscious programming
In our cultural obsession with all things media, our children are being instructed by the habits of the rich and famous, primarily by those who are associated with Hollywood. Are we giving them enough intellectual stimulation to discern behavior patterns that are in their best interest?

Actors, actresses and television role models leave a lot to be desired in terms of preparing children for higher education. Anorexic and bulimic actresses on television and magazine covers are on a collision course. They use their bodies to act and make a living and so they work on conditioning their bodies all the time, and barely eat enough to stay alive in the game. Fast talking, glib, action heroes do little to help children think, let alone discuss ideas that will stimulate an intellectual discussion.
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Recovery takes time

Alcohol and/or drug recovery takes time. Part of recovery is to accept that recovery is a life-time challenge.

Here are 6 factors affecting how successful recovery will be:
1. How quickly the individual adapts to change
2. How supportive your family and friends are in understanding the challenges you are facing
3. The type of drug/drugs the addict is using and the duration of use
4. The type of treatment
5. How disciplined the addict in staying away from friends who are using
6. How successful the addict is at avoiding “trigger places”

Zari Alipour, Ph.D.
Making Wise Choices in a Disruptive Age
www.DrZari.com
Zari@DrZari.com
310-574-3832

There are 4 keys to surviving the college years drug-free:

1. Make a commitment to your dream and focus on keeping your dream alive.

2. Make a decision that you aren’t going to let drugs and alcohol interfere with your education.

3. Find alternatives to fraternities and sororities if either of your parents are/were addicts.

4. Select friends who are committed to their short and long goals.

Zari Alipour, Ph.D.
Making Wise Choices in a Disruptive Age

Opt-in to get a free copy of Alcohol and drug prevention for teen (e-book in 6 weeks)
www.DrZari.com
Zari@DrZari.com

Choosing friends wisely
Are you in a position to influence the decision of a college student to join a fraternity or sorority?

There are things you can do to help young adults make that decision. But the ability to discern appropriate and valuable friends comes long before college. Relationships created in sororities and fraternities can have long lasting consequences, some good – others not so good. If a child has been active in being able to determine what worthy friendships are, they are much more able to make a decision regarding relationships in college.

A genuine friend keeps a promise, follows through with what he or she says, sacrifices for the other, respects and honors, is courteous, builds character, and is a positive connection in helping one realize their dreams.
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How do you help a child make a wise decision?
When children are young, we readily and easily help them make healthy and safe choices and the best among us teach them why each choice is unwise or wise. However, once the child is a teenager, we increasingly back off, often letting the consequences of their actions teach the principles.

Big mistake! The frontal cortex (the center for executive functioning = CEO of brain) is still developing and maturing up to age 22. It is necessary for good judgment, organization, impulse control and solving problems.

They are not adults and even young adults need guidance through decision-making. Children need to have a responsible adult maintain continue the guidance on helping them think for themselves and draw their own conclusions when they’re old enough to think logically. It is a big part of building self-esteem.
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